*I also posted this on my SPD blog but since not all of you go over there I thought I’d post it here as well!
The past two weeks have been filled with tantrums, meltdowns, restless nights/naps and decrease in appetite for Little Miss. The meltdowns and tantrums I can handle…or at least try to, however, the restless nights/naps and lack of appetite worries me. Little Miss and Little Man both have enzyme deficiencies in their GI tracks (they were both born without the sucrase enzyme in their GI tracks) which means that they need a special diet to stay healthy, strong and keep them growing and stop them from loosing weight. Since the schedule has changed (or slightly before it changed) Little Miss has been barely eating. I haven’t noticed her loosing weight though but I might if I was weighing her everyday…I don’t know.
Since Little Miss is so difficult most of the time and obviously doesn’t do well with changes I have yet to start her on this special diet of no sugar, no juice, no fruit, no high fructose corn syrup and so on. It sounds selfish of me (ok it is) but I am just picking my battles at the moment. We had her IFSP on Friday and decided that since I have all three therapists here three days (1 day each) a week then we need to start this diet. And let me tell ya, I’m nervous and IT’S.GOING.TO.SUCK!!! We’re going to have tantrums and meltdowns times 4 (breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner), she is more than likely going to be eating and drinking less than she already is and I wouldn’t be surprised one bit if she gets admitted to the hospital like Little Man did because of a surprising weight loss and dehydration. We’ll see!
It’s bad enough having three semi special needs children, having them all at home with different needs and wants, summer home schooling my oldest with her regular school work and her vision therapy, trying to keep them busy and happy while we wait for our new swing set and now to add on top of all that we’re going to start something completely new to Little Miss. I’ll be praying every night that I don’t loose my mind…at least it would be a short trip though! 
We’re going to be having family days all summer on Tuesdays which will be fun. BBQs, fun trips to local parks, museums and festivals and just being together as a family. It’s usually pretty difficult to even go to Wal-Mart with Little Miss, although she has improved somewhat, so going out on these family days will be fun but probably more stressful then fun. Taking the kids to a big animal park last week was fun minus the tantrums, meltdowns, screaming and strange ‘WTF?’ looks from strangers. Although, as you can see in the above photo she did love feeding the goats! That ‘my child has SPD’ sign on her back is sounding better and better. Which brings me to my question in this post:
Question: When you go out in public and your child is having a serious meltdown and you’re getting all kinds of looks from bystanders, what do you do? Do you tell people that your child has SPD (or whatever it is that they suffer from)? Do you ignore them and mutter, ‘If you only knew’ in your head? Or do you do something else? I would love some tips on how to save myself from embarrassment and stares.
About Stefanie
Good luck with the new diet, I hope the change goes better than you expect!
Oh, and to your question, when my son melts down, I just let people stare, whether it’s because he’s tired, hungry or just in a mood. I figure if they’ve ever been a parent, they know it happens. And I’ve gotten past worrying what they think of me. (Even if that sounds awful!)
I shouldnt care…I know I shouldnt! But I just dont want people to think I’m a bad mom b/c I “let” my kids throw fits in public. KWIM?
I have a really funny recent story about my little M. We were at Walmart recently and I have her two choices of toothpaste (princess or sparkle). She chose princess and followed me about 100 feet and said, “No mommy, I want sparkle”. Since we had barely cleared the aisle I let her go back (plus it was $1.75 cheaper”. We walked away the second time and got to the register and she said, “Mom, I changed my mind. I want princess”. I told her I was sorry, but we were getting this last one she chose. She threw is at me and said, “I don’t want it”, and began to scream, which lasted 25 minutes in the line– and 30 minutes home. Yes, I wanted to act with emotions and scream, too. However, I “gathered myself together”, and said, “I am so sorry you are having so much trouble making up your mind. WE are leaving all toothpaste here and you can decide what you want by the next time we go to the store”. I quickly picked her up and firmly placed her in the cart as she was screaming. The young (and stupid) cashier was talking to another shopper about what she’d do—yadda yadda! I turned my back to my little M and watched the lady check up out. She began to tell me that I really shouldn’t allow my daughter to just scream like that. She continued to tell me that her “step-dad” use to beat her with a belt and his name (the belts) was, “MR. Do right”. If I let my screaming kid (and I mean she was really screaming at this point and I wasn’t looking or saying a word) meet, “MR. Do right” then she would be “good”. She went on to tell me that because she “Met Mr. Do right” so often (her step-dads belt)that is why she turned out to be so successful today. I just knodded…
I knew that if I opened my mouth it wouldn’t have been nice. I wanted to say, “Yeah right chick”, you are a wal-mart checker…………..I was sooo mad! However, I doubt my daughter will pitch a fit again. She tells me everytime we are in the store that she has to make a “quick and right” decision. Thought you’d love that. IT is funny now, but I was dying!
HUGS for all that you do. It can’t be easy. Children alone can be difficult at times but when you have health conditions and issues beyond your control you just have to go with the flow.
As far as kids go and the looks for melt down in public and my 3 yr old has them often. I just SMILE and grint through my teeth as I talk to him. THey most likely know children can be difficult to begin with. as long as you SMILE and handle your situation well There is NO WORRIES. and forget the lookers not like your gonna see them again any way.
HUGS
It’s draining for me with one developmentally delayed child, I can only imagine what you go through in a day! You must be super mom.
QOTD: Normally I just ignore other people, or sometimes the tantrum. Here’s my trashy parenting moment I have leaned over and said I’m not listening to this and started to walk away. Sounds horrible I know but it totally worked. The child in question stopped and chased after me apologizing for the outburst.
After reading the previous comment I would have went to manager at Walmart and demand she loose her job or be transferred to where she is not dealing with people! Throw her in the back or put her on midnight shifts stalking shelves. It is incredibly sad that she feels it is ok to beat a child, and inappropriate for her to pass any judgement.