Today I was watching E! News while folding laundry and watching the kids play when I saw a story on Charlie Sheen and his wife Brook Mueller. They said how Charlie has been charged with third-degree assault and criminal mischief. They also said how not many people were making a big deal out of it and how surprised they are that his wife has not left him. I have some opinons on this and would love to hear yours as well.
First off, I think most people aren’t making too big of a deal out of this because honestly, we’re not surprised but more surprised that she is surprised! This woman had to know about Charlie’s kind, generous, loving, caring, gentle temper and past, right? I’ve never dated him and I’m surely not famous, but I’ve heard about him over the years and there’s no way in hell I’d even entertain the mere thought of talking to him much less dating and marrying the guy. And before you say, ‘Well not everything in the news is always accurate.‘ believe me, I know and understand that. However, it is a fact that he has been arrested for numerous things and has had a bad past with past wives and girlfriends. FACT!
So why, after everything he did to her (i.e. attack, assault and threaten to kill her…on Christmas no less and while his children were in the same house.) why would she not leave his sorry ass? Is it because she truly loves him and wants to try to save their marriage? Does she love his bank account? Is it because she thinks she can change him? Is she afraid? Or is she thinking that leaving him would not be good for their children? Personally I think that if a man/husband/father is abusive, especially in front of or in the same house as his children, then there is nothing more important than getting out in order to save your children from witnessing something horrible. Why would you want your children subjected to fighting, abuse, emotional distress and violence? I tell ya what, my husband knows that if he ever lays one finger on me or cheats on me (or even thinks about either) that that’s it…it’s done. PERIOD. I don’t do second chances and I won’t have my children living in the same house with someone who thinks it’s ok. I want them to grow up knowing that they have complete control over themselves, their bodies and who they surround themselves with. I want them to grow up to be kind, generous, loving, non-violent adults. And children live what they know and experience. They either grow up around violence and grow up to be violent or they grow up with the knowledge of how it affects people and live their lives to the fullest trying to be better than that someone that they witnessed being violent.
But my biggest question is why would a woman even put herself in that position? What makes some women think she can change a man? And what makes any woman think that a man won’t be aggressive and abusive when he has been in the past? Sure, not all men are the same…I get that. But I truly believe that once an abuser…always an abuser. Obviously, she will do what she feels is best, when she feels it’s the right time, but if I were her I would have been gone before his hand was even raised.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this!
About Stefanie
It’s impossible for me to describe everything I’m feeling when I read this post and summarize it sufficiently within the contest of a blog comment.
I can’t speak for any woman specifically, including Brook. I can only speak in generalities – that most abused women do not see a light at the end of the tunnel. An abused woman has become so accustomed to the abuse and degradation to the point that her self-worth is decimated. She begins to feel that she deserves the treatment and believes her abuser when he tells her that she is worthless, that no one will “love” her like he does, that she’ll never make it without him. He has probably isolated her from her family and friends. He has probably made it so that she is financially dependent on him. He will threaten her children if she so much as thinks of leaving.
I am never surprised when a woman is abused and stays, even if she knew beforehand of his propensity to violence. I am more surprised when she actually leaves. And if she leaves at the very first sign of abuse, I am quite literally shocked.
I was lucky. I wasn’t married nor did I have children at the time it happened to me. I’d like to think that if I had had children at the time, that I’d have left sooner for their sake. I would hope that I would have had the strength. But I didn’t have kids … and it took me 2 years and several broken bones before I found the courage to leave.
I totally understand what you are saying. And I have to say, good for you for getting out. I just wish that it was a perfect world and that women would realize their true strength enough to leave at the first sign of abuse. I’m sure there are a million different reasons why a lot of women stay and it’s very sad. All I can do is thank God my husband isn’t one of those men and raise my kids to be kind, loving and gentle adults.
I have been in a relationship that I had to get out of before, and it wasnt easy. Good for anyone that can get out- it was harder than staying in for me at times. Great points, thanks for sharing!
It has been proven if you beat a dog on a chain, and then take it off the chain, it still will not run away. It is sad what it does to your head when you are abused. You love anyway, just like the dog, and dont want to leave. It is always sad when they stay and triumphant when they leave.
Great article thanks for posting. I wish too that Woman would realize they if it happens once it will happen again. I speak from first hand experience. I was strong enough to leave, file for divorce and with my daughter only being 2 months old at the time. It was the best decision I ever made. Thanks for bringing attention to this.
I don’t get it either. When I hear Charlie Sheen’s name I think of all those women he slept with when he was one of Heidi Fleiss’s “client”. That alone grosses me out so much it makes my skin crawl. So to me Charlie Sheen = STDs.
BARF!!!!!!!!
AND, he’s not all that great looking.
It must be the money she’s after OR she’s got such a low self-esteem she truly doesn’t know she could do better and find a partner that truly loves her. Someone that loves you wouldn’t treat you like that. I mean, geez, how long have they been together…maybe three 3years, at the MOST?
ICK!!!
Going to take a shower now. I feel dirty!